Attending a Turkish circumcision party is an eye-opener for anyone with the stiff British attitude that private parts should not be discussed in public, nor should we celebrate the ritual trimming of them through song and dance.

In the UK, when a boy is born, doctors discreetly perform the deed and return the baby to his parents without a big fuss. Hygiene is the principal reason and I assume the baby boys have no memories of a doctor bearing down on their man parts with surgical scissors.

In Turkey, the deed is done at any time during a boy’s life and it is not a private occasion either. Family, friends, neighbours, long lost uncles, and random strangers suddenly appear to celebrate until early morning. Known as a sünnet party, the word ‘privacy’ is not  used when describing the process to foreigners.

My First Invite to a Turkish Sünnet Party

When I received my first invite to a Turkish circumcision party, I was not sure what the appropriate social response should be. The boys getting the snip, were my three Turkish nephews through marriage and they were aged eight, four and seven months.

What should I have said?

The first response that sprang to mind was …

“Of course, I would love to join a party to show my overall enjoyment at your impending doom and alteration to your manhood”

The rest of the family were laughing, joking, and looking forward to the event so it was obvious, I needed help with social etiquette for a circumcision party. I carried on smiling politely, while making a mental note to speak to my Turkish husband later.

To my relief, he told me that times had changed and my three nephews would not be lying down on the kitchen table to have their courage tested to the limit. In the past, that was normal but the three boys were going to hospital weeks before the party and the procedure would be performed by someone who at least had a degree and expert knowledge of the male anatomy.

To my surprise, my husband proudly recalled his memories of being circumcised. His uncle performed the procedure at home and he remembers receiving a big watch as a present.

I realized then, that it was about much more than a need for hygiene.

The First Step From a Boy To a Man

Most males in Turkey are circumcised. It is the first step on the ritual path to becoming a man. A circumcision and completion of military service are two major events throughout a boy’s life.

Many males in our neighborhood have completed their military service.

They leave with the mannerisms of a child, then return months later with the physical appearance and mental attitude of a man.

The emphasis in Turkish culture about boys growing up to be strong men is the hope and belief,  that they will be a good husband, son and father, one who will protect, honor and love his family at all costs, while ensuring they want for nothing.

The Turkish Circumcision Party

When the day of the circumcision party arrived, I was still not ready to join in the celebrations but as a family member; my presence was strongly required.

The biggest shock was to come though. I had expected a small house party with roughly thirty guests. When we arrived, my estimation was severely off the mark.

The street was cordoned off. Every spare inch of space had been used, leaving no room to move. Loud noises alternated between insistent chatter and traditional Turkish music.

A van in the corner was hurriedly laying out many trays of food and the owner was struggling to keep up with the demand for refreshments on this hot summer day.

Tables had been set out in rows and large white canopies erected to keep out the glare of the midday sun. In the UK, we would need the excuse of a royal wedding to have a street party like that, yet more and more people joined in, putting the numbers into more than a hundred.

My three nephews appeared wearing the traditional circumcision suit with large grins on their faces. They were the focus for the day and enjoying the attention.

Dressed in white trousers and shirts, with blue dickey bows and elaborate capes, they ran through the crowds laughing and joking with their friends.

Their pointed feather caps reminded me of the uniform worn by disciplined English marching bands, but this day was certainly not synchronized or orderly.

At the end of the street, children were patiently waiting in line for a ride on a horse that looked remarkably calm despite the loud noise and screaming kids running around it.

I was by now getting used to the public display of what I considered a private moment, but there was more to come. The two older boys would sit on horses and ride through the streets, following a music band sitting on the back of a hired van.

Cars would follow the horses beeping their horns in joy at this special occasion that had occurred in our family. Everyone in the town would know what had happened to the bits between their legs.

This was not about discretion. The more people that knew the better.

I have not been to a circumcision party since then. Sometimes I see the boys of our town on their special day, riding around on a horse or in a van, dressed in the traditional white and blue suit.

Rumours say the council   donates money to the poor families who cannot afford the procedure. They do this for one day every year so all those young boys having the procedure at the same time get to have a bigger party than normal.

Last month, I read a fiction book written by Elif Şafak called Honour. The story is not true but Elif has used many real cultural references. One chapter tells of a boy living in a vıllage in the East of Turkey.

He ran away from his circumcision party, hid in a tree, and when found, he cried to his mother. She feigned sympathy until he came down from the tree, then scolded him for embarrassing her in public.

That is the strong emphasis on the Turkish circumcision ritual  as it is the first step from a boy to a man.

The tradition is slowly changing because instead of the home, the hospital is strongly favoured as the place for the operation instead. However, the celebration after the event is the same and I think it will be for a long time to come.

Do not be surprised if you are in Turkey and receive a random invite to a circumcision party. Turkish people invite everyone to celebrate special occasions with them and a sünnet party is one event that will help you understand their culture and traditions.